This “conflict” occurred between another driver and myself,
approximately one year ago in February 2013; a minor accident with a Volvo car. Any driver would definitely fully empathize with this situation.
Immediately after the accident, knowing I was at fault. The first thing that came to mind was "@#$%& !!!!". However, I made a conscious effort to tame my emotions and went down with an apologetic vibe.
Determined to resolve this conflict, without it escalating and get blown
out of proportion, I was fully prepared for any “unreasonable” chiding - taking it all in my stride.
If I were in his shoes, I would be FUMING!
But to my most pleasant surprise, he came out looking all
calm and composed – a state of nirvana – transcending and worldly suffering.
Seeing
my “P-plate”, he addressed me in the most tranquil tone:
“Its okay - doesn’t seem to be anything serious. Don’t worry
about it.”
“You are a first-year driver?”
“This is what we will do…”
…
I was pretty certain that he was raging, as you would expect
too. But I was utterly impressed with his ability to regulate his own anger, at
the same time empathize with my very first accident. The sole reason why this conflict was resolved so successfully, in my opinion, was the ability for the other party to empathize with me.
Given similar circumstances, what would your reaction be if
you were the victimized Volvo driver; will you be able to exercise such GREAT self-control?
I can fully empathize with you, although I have not and would not want to experience a car accident. I only recently became a one-year driver, and during the time I was driving with a Probational license, I always felt bad for holding up traffic or "getting into people's way." I remember once, I held up the traffic at a mulch-storeyed carpark when I ran into problems parking. It was also lunch hour, and people were naturally in a rush. However, to my surprise, the driver behind me was encouraging and even signaled a thumbs-up and an applause when I finally managed to park. I vividly remember that scene, and use it to serve as a reminder for me to be a more patient driver on Singapore's roads. I always tell myself to be more patient when I see the probational drivers or learner drivers, even if I am in a rush, and also to be more encouraging because I was once there and know how stressful it can be.
ReplyDeleteHi IZ
ReplyDeleteI personally felt you were really lucky to have been able to resolve this conflict in such a manner. From experience, I find that most drivers would not have had the tolerance or the capacity to respond in such a manner more so during peak hours in the morning. Even though, I'm barely a one-year driver, I do find myself being rather impatient at times with other drivers especially those who cut into a lane suddenly or who refuse to signal.
However, I too have been on the receiving end of such gracious acts on the road. For instance, I noticed that people tend to give way to those with a probational plate especially on highways. This was something I did not expect but a little reminder on how one should be patient on the road. When I finally obtained my license and was about to go on the highway for the first time, I realised how fast the cars were moving and was a bit shaken. However, I guess other drivers must have sensed my discomfort and gave way to me! These experiences spur me on to improve while driving in terms of how I react to others who might be a bit slow on the wheel and to on the whole, be a more gracious driver.